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    June 13

    信仰自然Seraphine de Senlis

           劳歌一曲解行舟,
           红叶青山水急流。
           日暮酒醒人已远,
           漫天风雨下西楼。

                                ——【唐】许浑《谢亭送别》

           人们说胡河清最喜欢这首唐诗,在他有限的生命里,是不是也在反复地吟诵这一首,特别是最后一句?有人说不可太执着,天真的人做不到这一点,特别是那些向往自然、希望和它们一体的人,这个世界,对于他们来说,只有自然最可爱。他们向死而生。

           徐志摩说“是人没有不想飞的”,他经常说的那句“kissing the fire”就是自己最好的注脚,很少有人像他那样无惧和执着。

           即便是对现实有再多的痛苦,在自然里他们,诗人们,还是爱:“泉水白白流淌,花朵为谁开放,是这样美丽负伤的麦子,吐着芳香,站在山岗上”(海子《黎明》之一)。所以我理解,他们会一时为自然而执着,爱上天的神谕。

           看《Seraphine》(说的是一战时法国朴素派女画家Seraphine从作画到最后疯狂沉静的故事,画家最为人称道的就是她画的“花”,来自自然,又完全不同于自然,所以有的地方片名叫《花开花落》,影院翻译成《塞拉菲娜》,但按法语的发音,“萨哈芬”可能更适合些),为Yolande Moreau着迷,她平凡的容貌、貌似呆滞的表情,反而让画家天才的感染力喷薄而出,不得不佩服法国培养电影人的道路——自由而独立。这里,有自然,风,花,树……法国田园不只是安逸和享乐的地方,更是接近自然的路。最后一幕,因为太执着于自己的Seraphine住进了精神病疗养院,她曾经的赞助人为她找了一间可以通往外面风景的整洁房间,她推开那扇门,提着一只靠背椅子,一个人从绿色的草地上走往远处,那棵大树,坐下来,静静地依偎着微风……

           没有人可以事先预知你与自然的交流,待到那一刻,自然会给你永远意外的答案……

         

           做了一个选择题,“上帝能马上帮你会一种西洋乐器,你会选什么”,我选了“长笛”,它的声音有时候和自然很像。

           因为8岁被水淹过,一直对水有着莫名的恐惧。今天看完《Seraphine》的上半部(经常这样,断断续续做一些事情),和朋友去了从来不敢伸脚的游泳池。在一次又一次的自我鼓励下,终于能够信任水了,让它托着我,不和它较劲,也尝试着慢慢地顺水而游,虽然还不能换气,也不会踩水(这样容易沉。。。),但基本上不那么怕水了,庆祝!接下来是不是真的考虑去学长笛呢?呵呵,这个估计没天分了

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