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    June 27

    童年梦

                    在篱笆那边(Emily Dickison)      ( 艾米莉·狄金森)

      Over the fence—                                               篱笆那边,
      Strawberries—grow—                                         有草莓一棵。
      Over the fence—                                               篱笆那边,
      I could climb—if I tried, I know—                           我知道,如果我愿意,我可以爬过。 
      Berries are nice!                                                 草莓,真甜!
      
      But—if I stained my apron—                               可是,脏了围裙,
      God would certainly scold!                                 上帝一定要骂我!
      Oh, dear,—I guess if He were a boy—                  哦亲爱的,我猜,如果他也是个孩子,
      He'd—climb—if He could!                                   他也会爬过去,如果,他能爬过!

            英格玛·伯格曼说:“人老了之后的现象之一就是,童年的回忆会越来越清晰地浮现出来,而壮年时期的种种大事却反而模糊,以至于消失。”我们还没有到老年,还没有发生如此的颠倒。但我有另一种颠倒,我不记得小时候发生的很多事情,我没有记忆得很,似乎生活一段就丢了一段,我记忆里那个剪着童花头的小女孩似乎是别人,难为我小时候还很喜欢照镜子的,竟然没有记忆,原因不详。

           壮年时期的种种大事倒真是印在脑子里,时不时还会出来折腾一下自己的神经。所以我希望英格玛的话是正确的,这样我还能找回那童年,像照镜子一般清晰。

           最近很看了几个电影,各种类型的都有,居然在看了变形金刚后第二天,兴冲冲地和男士们聊军事坦克和导弹。。。可见美帝国主义枪炮航母的影响力,一个很俗的字眼,很带劲!当然也有很多魔幻和含蓄的片子,大多包含着导演童年的梦。童年和梦有多大区别?特别在长大了以后,回想起来,竟然有些是一样的吧,童年就像生活在梦中,梦就在童年里。

           在夏日的白昼里,听滚动的雷声,看大雨和雨后感觉到刺眼紫外线的阴天,还没到蒸腾的热天,还有些不着边际的耐心和惬意。

           “我想象父亲拿着刀子要割断我的喉咙,我担心天使会太慢出现,血已经流出来了,我痛苦地微笑着。接着,电影在我的生命中出现了。”

                                                       ——英格玛.伯格曼

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